Crucial Factor Women Should Consider in a Man When Dating for Marriage

An important point I discuss with women who are dating for marriage is:

Make sure that the man you ultimately choose to marry either has a solid relationship with his father OR if his father did not meet his needs or give his approval, then he sought out to establish a relationship with a man who is older and wiser who he DOES receive approval and insight from (a moshpiach/mentor, rebbe, etc).

Why is this important?

As a boy becomes a man, he will seek validation in his role as a male from his father. This starts to happen in his adolescence and continues as a teen. When a man did not have a solid relationship with his father or a father figure, he may struggle with issues related to self-worth and confidence, which are crucial for fulfilling the role of a spouse. This creates a void within him.

Getting married can then further exacerbate this void when his wife turns to him for support and he doesn't have the confidence to lead, protect and to give of himself.

Having a healthy mentor relationship with an older and wiser male is what can help a man gain the validation and guidance he needs to cultivate feelings of self worth and confidence in his life journey.

This is what allows a man to feel ready for marriage--and for LIFE.